Last night I woke up at 1:30 a.m., out of breath, thankful that Adam was not a vampire. I know, you would think that I just read a Twilight novel or watched The Vampire Diaries, but no, this vampire dream came out of nowhere.
I only remember bits and pieces of this dream, as it is with most dreams, but I do remember us being at my grandparent’s home at the ranch. No one else was there except us and our vampire buddies. I cannot remember now if Adam wanted to be “turned”, but in the end he became a vampire by the others when I was not around. Later in the dream I was talking to him and suddenly realized that he was not the same. He was no longer my Adam, but just a shadow of himself.
More than likely due to the theory in Twilight, I knew that he would be on this Earth for eternity and would not be in heaven for eternity with us. He was forever separated from God and we were no longer “equally yoked”. I cried in my dream, not being able to imagine an eternity without him. I could not imagine him not being in the same place as the believers within our group of family and friends. However, I was ultimately broken-hearted over his loss. He would be perpetually separated from our creator and would continually face the torments of this world. In my dream, he seemed numb to it and enamored with the pleasures of this world. He was excited about what the world had to offer him and was willing to find anything to fill the void that was now indefinitely formed within his soul.
Yes, these are the crazy, out-there dreams I have during pregnancy. Most of them are much more light-hearted, but still very strange. After waking from the mood of the dream I quickly found how much I appreciated the message.
Ultimately, this life is temporary. We often get lost in it. Our problems, our busy days, and our ambitions distract us from where our focus truly needs to be. Believers and non-believers alike cram many things into their lives that just don't matter, but they are continually attempting to fill a void.
“I’ll be happier if I get this promotion at work.”
“I’ll feel more relevance if I judge and gossip about others. It makes me feel better about myself.”
“I’ll be more at peace once I pay off these bills and move out of this house.”
“I will forgive when I see a change in them or if they come to me first.”
“I find true happiness in my spouse and close family only. My true source of happiness is found there.”
Many of these feelings are natural and not entirely wrong. However, when these feelings and tendencies are the primary focus and your all-consuming nature when it comes to life, then it is a problem. You tend to constantly reach out to anything and everything to fill a void that only Christ can fill. You slowly become extremely bitter as you start to realize, either subconsciously or consciously, that you are never able to fill this vast hole that has now reshaped who you are. You start to reach out to everything and everyone, grasping and holding on with all of your strength, hardly able to breathe at the thought of losing that one thing. That one thing you think satisfies your craving for more within the emptiness that has now formed within your soul.
You begin to form a division between you and your relationship with God. Your view becomes incredibly skewed and blurred. You may recognize his existence, but your relationship with him is now distorted. You have found so many things to put before him and to put in place of Him. Fear of loss, over-ambition, lust, anxiety, hate, and holding on too tightly to the things of this world have pushed a wedge between you and your relationship with God, along with spreading the hole the stretches across who are, and in the end hardening your heart.
My dream last night made me ache for those that do not have a true relationship with Jesus Christ. It made me reevaluate the life I live and what I have the tendency to use to fill “the void”. Do I always turn to Christ to fill that void or do I sometimes search for and hold on to the things of this world?
I feel that we all have the tendency to reach out to the pleasures, or fillers of this world. However, it is where we obtain our overall foundation that matters. Do we realize that nothing else can make us content other than the unfailing, constant love of our creator? While we may stumble and fall, do we come back to Him? Do we find continual, underlying peace and joy solely in knowing Him?
I have been reading Paul’s letters to the Philippians, to the church in Colosse, and to the church in Thessalonica.
While Paul is in prison, he writes to the Philippians, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” (4:12-13).
Even though Paul was in prison, being persecuted for following Christ, he found an underlying joy and peace in Christ. He clearly identifies that he has been at the top of the game (by worldly standards) and at the bottom, but his true contentment can only be found in Christ Jesus.
To the church in Colosse Paul writes, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” (3:1-4).
Our mindset should not be of this world, but focused on bringing glory to God and his kingdom.
In Psalm 103:15-19 David says, “As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children--with those who keep his covenant and remember to keep his precepts. The Lord has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.”
This scripture brings me comfort and joy. David is basically saying “This isn’t it! There is SO much more beyond this life...beyond what we see or even know. Have hope in this and love the Lord our God with all of your heart and mind for He is over ALL things.”
To the Thessalonian Christians, Paul writes, “Brothers, we do not want to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him.” (4:13-14).
What an amazing promise. Yes, we will grieve the loss of loved ones, and we should, but know that those who have “fallen asleep in Him” will be reunited once again.
We should continually practice having an eternal mindset. One that looks past the pleasures and distractions of this world and seeks to fill the void with a solid foundation and relationship with our creator.
“For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’” (Jeremiah 29:11-13)
The Lord will not desert us in our time of need. We just need to be willing to reach out to Him, with all of our heart, and let Him fill the hunger that only his love and grace can sustain.
